“You are a humid preposessing Homo Sapien with a full sized aortic pump”

– Joey Tribbiani


The download

You can now download any skill you want onto your brain, but you can only choose 3…..

First of all I’d think my most important skill I’d want would be how to flirt because as of right now I’m not the best…. I’m the type of person to talk to a someone in class and say “so what school do you go to?” 🤦🏼‍♀️

Second, probably how to eat whatever I want without gaining weight…. can’t even look at a chip without gaining like 5lb.

And third, how to sleep

What would you choose?


You said you’d always be there for me. We’d been close friends for so many years. But then one day, you believed the lies others said about me. you were unwilling to hear both sides. You WANTED to believe in the lies. What about what they did to me!!? You cussed me out and blamed me for everyone else’s problems. They don’t have the guts to say who they really are or what they did. The day you started to leave me in the dust was the day you tied me up and threw me in the ocean, with bricks dragging me down to the depths below. I gasp for breath, shocked my own friend would betray me like that. But just drown in the Misery. So thanks for the wake up call, I guess. were total strangers now. Goodbye. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Thanks for helping me see Most of the friends I had were fake.

If days of the week were people


Hello, my name is Monday. I am told That I am a little bit monotone and can be negative sometime, But nothing gets my blood flowing like sitting down on a nice afternoon to do my taxes, or balance my checkbook!! Whooo! What a rush!


Hi. My names Tuesday. Im a little more laid back then Monday but don’t get me wrong, I mean I still like the occasional math problem but Science is where it’s at! The periodic tables my favorite table!!


HUMP DAY!! Yeet! Hey fam what’s up! I like to pretend I’m the coolest! I imitate Friday because I just want to be someone’s favorite day of the week!


Hey. What’s up? Ya. I know. Not many people like me. I’m the slowest day. “Friday eve”


Sup! I’m finally here bro! Took me long enough, I know!! But I like to do things on my own time! I’m 24 hours long but it only feels like 2. Your welcome.


Hey man. Let the sleeping dog lie. No one and I mean one gets anything productive done today. Don’t wake me up till 2 pm please.


Hey. Remember that blog post that was due……….8 weeks ago??! Oh ya and that 13 page report on the industrial revolution…. I think it’s due tomorrow. Better get started 😂